Healing codependency with EMDR.

Dec 07, 2023

The Codependency Paradox - don’t try harder: your tendency to feed the abuser will attract  further abuse. 

 Give up and return to your body. 

There is self defeat in ‘surviving’ by living on the treadmill of people pleasing and fawning, hoping to get some scraps from the narcissist’s table. 

 But you are shovelling coal into the mouth of the dragon - who is always hungry for more coal. 

 So you’ll become the slave to the monster forever, and the codependent will be rewarded and reinforced and even be unconscious to this: you’ll be a slave for life and you won’t even know it. 

Understanding Codependency

Codependency is a behavioral condition in a relationship where one person enables another person's addiction, poor mental health, immaturity, irresponsibility, or under-achievement. It is a learned behavior that can be passed down from one generation to another. It is an emotional and behavioral condition that affects an individual’s ability to have a healthy, mutually satisfying relationship.

What is EMDR?

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is a psychotherapy treatment that was originally designed to alleviate the distress associated with traumatic memories. It is a powerful method that can help people who suffer from anxiety, panic, disturbing memories, post-traumatic stress disorder, and many other emotional problems.

How EMDR Can Help in Healing Codependency

EMDR can be a highly effective therapy for those struggling with codependency. It allows individuals to access and process traumatic memories or experiences that are often the root cause of codependency. By processing these experiences, individuals can learn healthier ways of relating to others and themselves.

emdr therapy

The EMDR Process

EMDR therapy involves focusing on a traumatic or disturbing memory while receiving one type of bilateral sensory input, such as side-to-side eye movements. This process can help to reduce the vividness and emotional intensity of the memory. It is believed that EMDR can help to change the way these memories are stored in the brain, making them less powerful and less distressing.

Benefits of EMDR for Codependency

EMDR therapy can offer numerous benefits for individuals struggling with codependency. These include:

  1. Reduced anxiety and panic
  2. Increased self-esteem and self-confidence
  3. Improved ability to form healthy relationships
  4. Ability to set and maintain boundaries

Seeking Help

It's important to remember that healing from codependency is a process. It takes time and patience. If you or someone you know is struggling with codependency, it's crucial to seek help. A trained professional can guide you through the process of healing and help you develop healthier relationships.


In conclusion, EMDR is a powerful tool that can help individuals heal from codependency. It allows individuals to process traumatic experiences, change the way these memories are stored in the brain, and develop healthier ways of relating to others. If you're struggling with codependency, consider seeking help and exploring the benefits of EMDR therapy.